In retrospection
Author: crasiezt
Does a broken relationship mean THE END? Nope. No way. Life goes on and on and on and on…Maybe a little faster, now that I have so much time for myself. The weekends are so jam packed with activities; every Monday morning I wonder where the last two days went! But in the middle of all the hustle bustle, laughing, giggling, shopping, partying, I stop for a few seconds and think of the past…A song we both loved dancing to makes me realize how much fun it was to dance with him. Speaking to his friend I say “us” like I’m still a part of the gang. Seeing a car that’s similar to the one he’s got sends a jolt of realization down my spine that I’m not his front seat companion any more. When I go to a restaurant, and am deciding what to eat, the menu very rudely reminds me of the stuff he hates eating… Kelly Clarkson’s always been a favourite, and now more than ever I feel her songs are so amazing. Songs like “Never Again” “Behind These Hazel Eyes” seem to be mirroring my thoughts. “Big Girls Don’t Cry” (Fergie) has been added to the “my fave songs” list too!
I miss hearing his groggy voice when I used to call to wake him up in the morning. I miss our drunken stupors. I miss the chocolates he used to get me sometimes. I miss lazing around with him. Deleting his pictures from my phone can’t erase his memories from my mind…I just wonder if he feels the same way for me. Does he miss the way I smell? Does he miss my whining? Does he miss our shopping sprees? Does he miss the way I used to crinkle my nose at the mention of his “friend”? Does he miss the way I keep blabbering? But does it even matter now? Maybe it does. And that’s why I’m writing about it!
Fine, we didn’t work out. I’m not gonna talk to him again. Not in a million years. Not even when he sends me a message to say he’s in some trouble. Am I being hard hearted? No I’m not. After whatever happened it’s only logical that I maintain a stony silence. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. I’m not a saint or angel. I can’t behave like one either; forgive/forget and speak to him is not possible any more. If in a relationship one person doesn’t respect the other, calling him/her only in the hour of need then the whole thing stinks- not of friendship, not of lust, but a rotten kind of love. There’s love here. No denying that. But it’s gone bad. And what do you do with something rotten? Throw it away…
Accepted what you've written bt a few things from my side:
Firstly there has to be friendship and then love..not saying that one should be an angel, but i somehow disagree that one should not help som1 u used to love, when he/she needs it..i know exactly wht you are going thru,my gf and myself,went thru the same... bt then when in need,yes we were there with each other as friends.. give it a thot dear...
now,life certainly moves on. you would probably never forget your love,bt certainly as i have alwaz mentioned that life is like a game.the one who plays it smartly,wins in the end.certainly there ought to be obstacles..bt then,play it smartly, and i am sure you're gonna win..Life is not like a smooth highway after all :)
it's obvious to miss the person with whom you used to spend ur evenings,ur weekends...i used to be a bit different in my rel..for me,my work,my passion for music..(btw i am a keyboardist and a singer :) ),and my friends were a part of my rel..thou they are still in my life,bt not my gf... i still miss her at times(it's been 1+ yr since i broke up), but still....
you can selectively erase a few thots,but not the memories...selective amnesia does exist,but it's all in our hands wht to remember and wht not to remember...after all..i am sure you have a lotsa good memories abt your past rel....
would just say,it's that li'l extra that makes a person from being good to being extra good..i am sure that you are gonna be the latter one...
regards
keep rocking..
Well, I might not be the right person to comment onto this as I havn't faced this kind of situation myself but I learn from others' mistakes and plights.I know it doesn't sound pleasant but that's how it is.
Its easier said than done that its time to move on, I understand that it would take some time but trust me, time is all that is required, you'll get over it. Moreover, is it still worth your time, give it a thought and you'll get your answer yourself...
Neha I really can picture you sitting down with this object in your hand,this something called 'love which happened to you',then sat abt seeing each and every part of it like a lil girl,seeing what went wrong,did I miss seeing something?? hmm and i liked the way you havent outrightly dismissed off stuff saying love wasnt there at all..just that it got bad...wow..!! had never thought from that point of view..!!
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Rohit, I think am happy being what I am. Being "extra good" will not benefit me in any way. And I'm not here to do good to the world. It's time I thought only about myself. You have no idea what went wrong, and I'm not about to explain it either.
I know what you mean Gonecase. It needs time. As for whether it's worth my time. I say yes it is. Helps put things in the right perspective.
Hey Anwesha! Dunno what to say..you know how it is!
Im nt gonna go abt givin lng sermons on wot u've written ... i cn't knw wot u've been thru ... but i realise it hurts n it's gonna hurt 10 yrs frm nw ... but lif is too shrt to waste tim js bearin d pain ... smartest is d 1 who , 10 yrs frm nw , wil b mor happy den it'd hurt den
P S: im nt sure i'd understand wot i've written myself but yeah dats wot i wanted 2 say :D
The most important thing is to be happy the way you are... and if you are then that's the best for you.. btw when did i say that i wanna know what happened with you.. i don't need ne explanations...
We all are different ppl and certainly for me as a person friendship takes the topmost priority, bt then i can certainly imagine the worst that could'v happened with you...(again kindly do not take it as an offensive statement)..just meant that i can certainly understand and i believe we all would like to be happy... whtever makes you happy... Go for it... certainly think abt urself, and do the best in life...
regards
Ah, relationships..
So quaint.
Am sure am gonna be the happier one Pramod. And I did understand what you were "trying" to say:-)
just had another bad experience...would write a blog on that.. bt then now i'll say that you are right.... there's no point being great.. i have been that alwaz.. time for me to learn somethin from you... would now think abt myself....
Regards
Told you Rohit. Unfortunately it's only a bitter experience that teaches you..
Well, probably the bitter experiences i've had in past weren't enuf for me... i was still trying to be that extra good person.. but no i don't care reallyl abt others...
Live life King size... that's it.. btw,thanks... aapka gyan bahut kaaam aaya....
dhanyawaad guruji..
:)
No, its just that everyone reacts more to bitter experiences and don't pay heed to sweet ones,otherwise, everything is a lesson in itself
well,i do accept that everything's a lesson.. bt then i think that i was saturated.. else generally,i tend to not think abt wht ppl say,i keep giving my best, and keep helping others....and think abt others a lot...bt i suppose,the last experience was really bitter and i had to react to it, and certainly for good.. :)
And certainly,it's coz of these lessons that i am today so sound,bt still i fall in the pitholes.. :))
Nice post! :)
n sure u can still be friends with ur exs. Just don't get drunk with em! :D
Yeah you can, but if you have the inclination, and the person is worth anything! Am glad you liked the post though:-)
Ya.. the thing is, there are some things about you that only your exs know. So you could call 'em up for shrink services, once in a while ;)
Why would I, or anyone else need "shrink serivces" from their ex bfs or gfs? Don't mind, but that was a pretty dumb suggestion Anonymous.
On a personal note, my ex bf didn't know me as well as my best buddies. If I ever need to get my head checked, that's where I'll go!
Just like you said it... on a personal note, mine did! :)
n ya, I'm a guy.I come from Mars :P. Practical for you could be dumb for me, and vice-versa :)
hmm nice post did learn a lot frm tht .. this all helps me figure out mm]a life btr .. esp wen it comes frm a grl