I'm the MAN!

Author: crasiezt



A couple of centuries ago Aditi had tagged me. I was supposed to list 10 things I would do if I had the chance to change into the opposite sex. That’s pretty simple though! I would have spiky hair and a goatee, I would ride a real sexy bike, blah blah…

So I thought I’ll change the rules a bit *sorry Aditi*…here’s a list of 10 things I wouldn’t do if I were a guy who has a full-time steady girl-friend.

I won’t leave her unsatisfied in bed. Obviously I’ll come first, but I’ll make sure that my girl is satiated too:-)

I won’t have different rules for the both of us. No hypocrisy whatsoever, whether it is about having friends of the opposite sex, abusing in public or anything else…*I know she would hate it if I asked her not to do something and I did the same just because it’s OK for a guy to do so*

I won’t discuss my sex life with my friends. At least not explicitly. I mean it’s ok to say how much sex I’m getting, but to give vivid descriptions is just gross!

I won’t make up with her just before going to bed only so I can screw her. The only reason why I’ll patch up is because she’s my baby and it would be next to impossible to sleep while we’re pissed off with each other. *see I’ll be a nice guy*

I won’t hang up on her if we’re having a heated argument on the phone. I might yell, but I won’t hang up. *mighty tough, but I’ll try for sure*

I won’t make ugly faces if she makes a mistake. If it’s big, then fine, but not for something silly. And I will definitely not torture her by reminding her of her mistake for the rest of her life.

I won’t buy her expensive gifts all the time. If she’s so materialistic then I think I’m not the one for her…

I won’t treat her like some random girl when my friends are around and like a princess when it’s just the two of us. I’ll make sure my friends know of her existence, and she knows about them too. No saying “a guy…” when I’m referring to a friend; I’ll give her names instead!

I won’t lie to her. Whether big or small, doesn’t matter, a lie is a lie. So I won’t do it.

I won’t consider my work more important than hers’. I’ll give equal importance to what she does in her life too! *Basically, I won’t be an MCP*

At the end of it all, I just wanna say it’s fantastic being a woman. I love my life and I would HATE to be a guy!! By that I don’t mean I hate guys…what would I do without them:P

 

117 Responses to “I'm the MAN!”

  1. Gonecase

    Man ! You already are a guy !! Most of the points include sex, a typical male characteristic, hehe...
    You've made me so eager to take up a reply post *Which I'll try to do, given that my office permits*


  2. --xh--

    :) u wanna become a real nice guy, eh? :) nice take...


  3. DS

    but dont you think u'll become a very boring guy...
    And one question if u come first how'll you keep going to satify her ;)


  4. Crimson Feet

    lol... good list!! insightful... :)


    PS.
    btw... why is the first point so "obvious"?!?... i mean a guy CAN make sure that he doesn't "come" first! ;)


  5. Mystique Wanderer

    dudette ure chaps seems to have ticked u off quite a bit... :P

    i'd dispute point one...if the guy comes first...the girl can totally forget it...a man is horny only until he has spewed his cream of manly kindness...since we can in a short period of time do it once...a woman on the other hand can have multiple orgasms...also it takes a woman usually much longer to come than a guy...hence its best that all the hard work be gotten out of the guy while he's still horny and be willing and then making him happy than the other way round...

    basic anatomy and psychology :P

    liked the point abt materialistic girls :P

    i didnt no guys hung up...then i realized i've done that...i actually prefer that coz i dont want to talk to someone when they are being unreasonable...and i dont like abusing nebody...so unless the other person is ready to talk in the normal tone..i dont talk only!!!


  6. aditi

    eheheh

    u did the tag some good :P
    nicely done


  7. ♥bμşγ-ŵŗϊŧēŕ♥

    if you by any major miracle do become a guy, you're going to be my boyfriend. there, we have a deal.
    :D :P


  8. Chaggoholic....

    Well grt random thought on what not to dos.Loved them. So true....


  9. deluded

    Q: is the guy in the photo taking a leak?


  10. Pranay

    That was pretty easy...What I would want you to think is...Are you the girl dat a guy would say is like how he would be if he was girl...;P
    Did this sentence make sense?


  11. Keshi

    Interesting list girl :)


    **I won’t discuss my sex life with my friends. At least not explicitly. I mean it’s ok to say how much sex I’m getting, but to give vivid descriptions is just gross!


    Do guys really do that? YUKKKK!


    Keshi.


  12. Express

    This comment has been removed by the author.


  13. Express

    yes, thats just the kinda guy I want, now go get me one :-P

    P.S. was it making some1 realise of the things u want 4m them indirectly?

    P.P.S. am i being too dumb 2 ask? my pea-sized brain doesnt leave much room 4 creativity u knw :-P


  14. My Blog Your Thoughts

    Ahh u seem heart broken..may be ur looking for a guy like me :)

    Njoy
    Cheers


  15. Beauty and the BEast

    lol!!

    Mighty impressive! The amount of thought you give to things you wouldnt do...

    Hope the right kind of guy is reading this ;)


  16. Rohit Jain (felon)

    Did you mention it to me that i would like this post a lot :) ... yes i did...

    absolutely what guys do, and that i don't like in them.. even i sometimes end up being a part of them, but then, not always you see :)

    and finally i am back :) ... as a reader though ...

    keep it up... don't hate guys, hate the bad bastards not the good bastards :) ..

    -R


  17. chacha

    This comment has been removed by the author.


  18. chacha

    3rd (little privacy) is required obviously :) or I will be in trouble some day.
    5th one (hanging up) I never do, leave alone gf, not even with anybody else.
    6th in the end depends on the feelings you have, faces ugly can be humorous too (absolutely my view)
    7th no comments, I dont have any honest view point there.
    8th - you will find less girls doing that, even such guys are rare, but definilety more in number than such girls,
    you better be girl then. good for equality.
    9th - I should better not say anything.
    10th - such a valid point.

    Waise I have some doubts now. Saala itni acting kaise kar li tune. Itni mature lagti to ni tu :), but good hai.
    chalo njoy maadi.


  19. chacha

    absolutely romantic, your nature looks like coming out well in this post ladki... saala bahut sweet hai bey yeh post...
    now about the things.
    1st one and the comments on that were kind of insight to me, though sooner or later i would have found out :). Different rules hard to follow, but more the good as more we can follow that. 4th depends on the love you have for each other, only then sex takes backseat.


  20. rantravereflect/ jane

    haaaaaaaaaaaa :)

    now i know how women become lesbians :D
    cos they understand 'what a woman wants' better than a man does :)

    geeeeeee...
    loveddd all the things ya wouldn't do as a man crazy in live..

    lol at 'I'd obviously come first' ;)
    but do ya know women discuss sex details more tha men ;) men just brag about the no. of women they bed ;)--> no details ;)that's their way of being the elusive mystery playboy among their gang of boys!


  21. Bogged

    wrong ideas of a female being!! not a single point is true! that's all i can say!somehow not a single match!wrong rodie!


  22. burf

    rrr - howdya know? are you a guy? :D


  23. gunj

    u spoke of being sme unknown species n not a guy!!!
    men are born to be pigs...not all that :P


  24. Mystique Wanderer

    ahem Gunj...kind of off balanced remark :P


  25. chacha

    respect the Individualism, I am all up for it and may be slightly against society, prejudices and generalization.

    So because of that I respect Neha's views and Gunj's and Mystic Wanderer's and of course I value this point of view of mine too.


  26. Echo

    hahahaha!i so agree wid u on all the points!specially d last line!i so luv being a gurl but wat wud we do without all the guys!
    man!i ma ctually doinw ithout them these days!cal desperately needs a huge supply of sexy hot men!
    btw wat r u rplans???u sd u were comin naa?
    also has this post been written for soem1 in particular or was some1 in ur mind while riting it??i just kind of thot so...


  27. Shailesh Mishra

    You'll do all those things and still call yourself a guy?


  28. Kulpreet

    You would make a very good guy. But don't think it is any bit easy, though most of us civilized ones usually behave almost that way.

    On a lighter note - I enjoyed your point(s) of view. It sure opened a few unrealized pores in the brain. Cheers!


  29. Bhai with Chai

    oh plz.. kahan milega aisa MAN?
    they don't exist.. will never exist! :(


    //The only reason why I’ll patch up is because she’s my baby and it would be next to impossible to sleep while we’re pissed off with each other

    WOW!!


    //I won’t hang up on her if we’re having a heated argument on the phone

    oi... guys dont do that.. atleast no one I know has ever done it.. it's always me! :D


    // I’ll make sure my friends know of her existence, and she knows about them too.

    they need bloody classes for that.. useless men!


    //No saying “a guy…” when I’m referring to a friend; I’ll give her names instead!

    another thing.. "male" friends are often discussed.. while female friends are very comfortably left out.. they're jus dropped from the convo only.. it's almost lik they have only male frnds.!


    // won’t lie to her. Whether big or small, doesn’t matter, a lie is a lie. So I won’t do it.


    DREAM ON!

    rockin post!


  30. Shrav

    'I won’t treat her like some random girl when my friends are around and like a princess when it’s just the two of us. I’ll make sure my friends know of her existence, and she knows about them too. No saying “a guy…” when I’m referring to a friend; I’ll give her names instead!'

    This so happens everytime! But then, my ex girlfriend liked it that way , and when it ended, no one had any probs!


  31. Tairebabs

    Hey girl, you ok? Been awhile.

    I agree with you about nog hanging up the phone when there is a fight and treating a girl as special even when friends are around. most guys can't do either


  32. Ankur Saraswat

    I somehow strikes to your blog while i was searching some thing and once there i was not able to took my eyes of it even when its my exam time.Your writing skills,your happiness and your anger every thing was on full display in the blog.I have seen very few people who can reflect you negative traits as well as they do reflect their positive traits.
    Person like you always fascinates me.You looked quiet creative to me.There in your blog i didn't find any contact lead (preferably mail id that is where i am most comfortable).So have to write to you through this comments section about which i am suspicious that you will check the comments posted on your group.
    but would certainly likes to listen from you.


  33. peter

    This was a true imagination sort of..and u sound like wat a perfect guy would sound :P

    btw thnks for dropping by my blog :D


  34. Macadamia The Nut

    First thing I'd do is go 'water' a wall or lamp post in ishtyle
    :D :D Gross or what?? LOL!

    Totally agree with you here!! Totally!


  35. crasiezt

    Gonecase: Like the typical male, your eyes only see the word SEX..3 points out of 10 are about it, which is only 30%. That doesn't mean "most" of the points are dedicated to SEX, does it?

    I'm waiting for your reply..


  36. crasiezt

    Xh: I would like to try:-)
    Thanks!


  37. crasiezt

    Ds: So you think nice guys are boring? You don't have to be a jerk to be interesting you know:-)

    And you're the kind of guy my first point was targeted at:P


  38. crasiezt

    Crimson: Am glad you found it "insightful" :P

    The guy CAN, but usually doesn't..*sigh*


  39. crasiezt

    Mystique: LOL you think this is all about my guy??? No man..it's a compilation of all guys I know/heard of:-)

    "cream of manly kindness" Hilarious dude..totally!! But the fact is that it can be controlled to suit the needs of the woman! And if it can't, provisions can be made after the act..too bad you aren't the type that believes in this:-/

    Hanging up makes things worse..instead you can say that you don't wanna fight so you'll talk later..better isn't it?


  40. crasiezt

    Aditi: Hehehe good you liked it:-) Thanks!


  41. crasiezt

    Busy: Ah! You made my life babe..deal it is:D Muah!


  42. crasiezt

    Chaggoholic: Coming from a guy that is very brave!!
    Thanks man, appreciate it:-)


  43. crasiezt

    Deluded: Finally someone noticed:D
    It was actually part of an advertisement for a drink. I just cut off the bottle lying on the road!


  44. crasiezt

    Pranay: Yes yes it makes complete sense..I'm not perfect, but yupp, I am a pretty good girlfriend:-)


  45. crasiezt

    Keshi: Yeah they do..as I found out quite recently..


  46. crasiezt

    Express: If I knew of such a guy's existence, he would have been mine:D

    And no no, this ain't about one guy in particular..I know a lotta jerks:D


  47. hammy

    So you won't be an MCP.

    What about the other 9 things?

    :D


  48. nefariousoutlook

    haha..if you were to become a guy then i am sure you would be on every gal's list and on top spot :)

    interesting post!!!


  49. Pranav Kumar V

    woman-O-woman!!! what a MAN you would have made!!! But out here on the other side of the planet, guess such men are hard to be made and once made, found... but really felt like I AM most of that man mentioned over there.

    Oh don't worry, I'm in the 4th stage of life (of the seven), skipped the 3rd for a little while, so, no, I'm not hitting on you.

    P.S. Just had pure fun reading this. guess I'll be coming up with "I'm the WOMAN" in a short while!!! will let you know if I do. Until then, see you when I see you... :)


  50. s.H.a.S.h.I

    hey thanks for ur wishes.... nice blog yaar... and reallly interesting tag... u wud make up a nice guy !!!


  51. crasiezt

    My blog: What made you think I'm heart broken??? And whoa! Why would I need to be with a creep like you???


  52. crasiezt

    Beauty: Hehehe...now you know what I think of when I am absolutely vella:D

    I already am with the right guy babe!!


  53. crasiezt

    Rohit: I expected you to say that:-)

    Of course I don't hate guys..or I would have become a lesbian!!


  54. crasiezt

    Chacha: Baap re..analysis kar daala tune to:P
    I was expecting a backlash here, instead you said it's a sweet post..you really do surprise me sometimes you know!! Shukriya shukriya:-)


  55. crasiezt

    Rant: Wow I didn't think about that..I want my man to know what I want, more than I could ever know..does that make sense at all?

    And babe, guys do discuss details when they are real..it's really gross..and the way they do it is quite unlike the way we do..*pukes*


  56. crasiezt

    Bogged: Maybe you aren't like that, but most guys are..I am not wrong coyote..I never am:D


  57. crasiezt

    Bogged: Maybe you aren't like that, but most guys are..I am not wrong coyote..I never am:D


  58. crasiezt

    Burf: How do I know what? That guys behave in that way??? Dude, get a reality check done..I'm a girl so I've either heard of such stuff or been on the receiving end..that's one of the dumbest questions I've heard in a really long time..


  59. crasiezt

    Gunj: Ah what else could you have said:P I agree completely..which is why this whole thing is hypothetical:D


  60. crasiezt

    Mystique: No way man..that was bang on target:D And it did get your attention too, didn't it?


  61. crasiezt

    Chacha: Hahaha nice reply there!!


  62. burf

    i never commented on your post, my comment was meant for

    "rantravereflect" that is "rrr"

    that is how i address her

    but i liked the way you choose to ignore the details :D

    take care


  63. go-phish

    whoaaa... you would be a NICE guy!... Awwwwww!!!!!!!.....
    but hard to live upto maybe..with conditioning and all...


  64. crasiezt

    Echo: We are the best thing to have happened, but without "mankind" we're no good either!!

    No babe, it wasn't for someone in particular:-)


  65. crasiezt

    Shailesh: So you mean a guy who is minus all these actions won't be a REAL guy? Absence of "jerk" qualities will make him an unknown species eh?


  66. crasiezt

    Kulpreet: It was all written in good jest..girls can be such monsters too, so it ain't realistic for a guy to be perfectly angelic!! Thanks for liking the tag though:-)


  67. crasiezt

    Bhai: Haan yaar I know they don't exist:-(

    So you hang up too? Gandi:P Guys do that babe..loads of them do!! In fact, ahem! I do too:-(

    And yes yes yes for all the points you mentioned..kuch ni ho sakta in ladkon ka..*sigh*

    Shukriya for the compliment:-)


  68. crasiezt

    Shrav: I know it happens all the time, and it is darn irritating. If it's a short-lived relationship it's alright, but when 2 people are together for a long time, and intend to stick around for some more, then this attitude becomes a problem!


  69. crasiezt

    Tairebabs: I'm fine babe!! Just been busy:-( How are you doing?

    Guys are so hopeless..grrrrrrr


  70. crasiezt

    Ankur: Really flattered with your comment.

    It's obvious that my mail id will not be on display for all, isn't it? Why would I want all random people mailing me eh?

    But thanks for the kind words. Keep visiting!


  71. crasiezt

    Peter: And perfection is a myth:D


  72. crasiezt

    Macadamia: I was thinking on similar lines, but didn't mention it here:D


  73. crasiezt

    Hammy: Looks like you don't read!! Did I not say I WON'T do any of that stuff??? Seriously man, go ahead and read!!


  74. crasiezt

    Nefarious: I can't even imagine how popular I would be!!


  75. crasiezt

    Pranav: LOL I didn't think you were hitting on me man!! Thanks for clarifying though:D

    So you are the IDEAL MAN eh? Good for you dude!!

    Waiting to see your post:-)

    And do keep visiting!!


  76. crasiezt

    Shashi: Thanks dude!


  77. crasiezt

    Burf: Even if it was meant for her, it was pretty senseless:D


  78. crasiezt

    Go-phish: Welcome here babe:-)

    I would be Mr Perfect!! But sadly, that's not to be:-(


  79. burf

    craziest - i have heard that it is in lunatic homes where others decide for you if it makes sense to you

    :D :D :D


  80. crasiezt

    Burf: My blog IS a mad house, in case you didn't know that already:D

    And when I said it was senseless, I meant that it seemed senseless to me and me alone..am sure it seemed perfectly logical to you:D


  81. Shrav

    Agree to your view as well :) And in one comment, you had written, A real guy is not necessarily a jerk! And I totally agree to that as well

    I picked that out cos there are so many wannabe jerks out there, who do crazy stuff just for the heck of being a REAL guy..


  82. Ankur

    Hey! How you doin'? I'm home these days, had a break, celebrated Diwali at home :)
    Not much activity here too in a long time. I had been terribly busy to be able to write something new and now when I have time, I don't feel like writing. Strange. I'm hoping this shall change in some time.
    Hope all's well at your end.


  83. Vinni

    is that the kind of guy you want? LOL. i am sure the search has been pretty unsuccessful.


  84. crasiezt

    Shrav: I'm glad you agree man!! Thanks:-)


  85. crasiezt

    Ankur: Howdy!!! It's been ages man..howz it going?
    Happy Diwali by the way..So you're home and enjoying every bit of it:-)
    You've been missed:-)


  86. crasiezt

    Vinni: I'm not looking for a guy like that..coz I know he doesn't exist:-) No point in wasting time, isn't it?

    Keep visiting!


  87. Prakhar

    Intehaan ho gayi....write gurl!


  88. C R D

    hah! interesting read! :P

    loved the one in which u said u would give her expensive gifts..wish all gals thot like u:P

    abt treating her like a princess in front of others...i really dunno. i dont like PDA. i think its a private moment. everyone has his/her own opinion. no? :)

    Cheers
    CRD


  89. Rakesh

    Empathy is such a lovely trait to have in your persona. However, I guess, you've only looked at the magic glass from one side.

    I'm sure, if you actually turn out to be such a guy, you'll next time be writing a much longer post on what type of girl you'll definitely not be :)


  90. Shailesh Mishra

    BTW, did you hear the latest track from Beyonce - If I were a Boy.
    It immediately reminded me of your post.

    :)


  91. umangexuberance

    hey craziest
    my reaction: hmmm.. hmmm... hmmmmmmmm...!!!!
    hehe
    by the way I am back to blogging hope to see you at my new blog soon
    tc :)


  92. seriously_frivolous

    hey common..there is more to a guys life than just sex ;) But I must tell you...from what I read...had you been a guy, you might not have had many guy friends


  93. LORD OF THE PRINCE AKA "JAY"

    u can really think like a guy(sex and sex and again sex)

    u can nearly see through a guys mind
    ur bf will b unfortunate though fortunate to have such an understanding girl to his side.
    anyways u was true to point out perfect things a man should not do.

    anyways i m new to blog and all this
    would like if u visit my blog and just leave a comment.


  94. rebel_on_loose

    Hahaha....you've got the gyus' traits spot on ! But u sure u wud manage NOT to do all of these had u been a guy ! Easier said than done i'll tell u !
    :D


  95. rebel_on_loose

    *guys' :)


  96. Mystique Wanderer

    "cream of manly kindness" Hilarious dude..totally!! But the fact is that it can be controlled to suit the needs of the woman! And if it can't, provisions can be made after the act..too bad you aren't the type that believes in this:-/

    errr...what???? i only said let the girl have one of the multiple she's gonna have before the guy starts to get his one...or two :P...this point if u didnt read right is in girls favor :P


    Hanging up makes things worse..instead you can say that you don't wanna fight so you'll talk later..better isn't it?

    err...right but getting screamed at coz the maid cooked something bad isn't really very nice either...i wud still hang up on unreasonable ppl...even if she were my gf...


  97. geet

    kaash aisa hota...agar tujhe mile aisa banda to bata diyo. this would be my man... hugss and love.


  98. Saurabh Kukreti

    Guy N You???? No Way !!!!

    You are better off as a sexy, ravishing, smouldering temptress than a guy.

    Guys Digg you Girl :-))


  99. Rajiv

    After I could read all of your 10 points , I could leave 2 comments

    Firstly, all these points bring more close to you and somehow in all these points there are certain desires of yours.

    Secondly, I admire the fact you being a fantastic woman and you are
    being so dead honest in each point to expressed..!!!!


  100. chacha

    100th comment for the sake of that 100th number... nth major... njoy maadi


  101. crasiezt

    Prakhar: I know I know..read the latest crap now:-)


  102. crasiezt

    CRD: Thanks man!

    The "princess treatment" doesn't have to be PDA per se:-) Though I do love public display of affection..hmmm should write a post about it!!


  103. crasiezt

    Rakesh: I'm sorry but I don't empathize with scum.

    Welcome here though:-)


  104. crasiezt

    Shailesh: LOL am glad you were reminded of my post..but I don't like that song too much:-(


  105. crasiezt

    Umang: You're back!! That's excellent babe:-)


  106. crasiezt

    Seriously: Yes there is more to a guy's life than sex..just the same way as there was more to my post than mere sex..which you obviously overlooked!!

    And what a weird comment was that eh? Don't nice guys have friends???


  107. crasiezt

    Lord/Jay: So you found nothing but sex in the post??

    Yupp my boyfriend is lucky..and not for the reason you've mentioned


  108. crasiezt

    Rebel: Hahaha I know..but it woud be fun to imagine!

    Welcome to my page:-)


  109. crasiezt

    Mystique: Is that what you meant? I guess I got it wrong!!

    I still say it will make things go from bad to worse if you hang up:-)


  110. crasiezt

    Geet: Oye hoye..long time no see!! Where were you???

    Jaanu agar aisa ladka mila, you think I would let you have him:P Kidding..tu rakh liyo..I already have mine:-)


  111. crasiezt

    Saurabh: Too big a compliment that was dude!! Thanks:D


  112. crasiezt

    Rajiv: Yupp I do desire to see men the way I have described in the post..am sure all women do..read the comments for proof:-)

    Thanks for appreciating my honesty!


  113. crasiezt

    Chacha: Shukriya:-)


  114. pras

    I won’t make ugly faces if she makes a mistake. If it’s big, then fine, but not for something silly. And I will definitely not torture her by reminding her of her mistake for the rest of her life...............


    I really value your these lines, and u knw after i broke up with my 6yrs of love, i started doing respect to every single girl. God bless honey!


  115. pras

    http://prasun-brain-wash.blogspot.com/


  116. Kulpreet

    Wow! I liked the piece. Not all guys are the same, just like not all girls are the same! Take care!


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